Oh, Canada

Tomorrow I am doing something I have not done in a long time (8 years is my best guess).

I am going to go to a tourist-y place, stay at a very nice hotel, have a fabulous dinner at this hotel, and then breakfast before seeing the sights (read: ride that boat that goes to the falls). I am going to spend the day/night in Niagara Falls with my mom tomorrow. The hotel, dinner, breakfast and parking will probably amount to 1.5 weeks' pay, which doesn't say much, since I'm on a stipend, but I just don't do extravagant things like this.

When I go places, I try to find a free place to stay (a friend, a friend's friend), and I've even slept in my car to avoid shelling out money for a place to stay. Whenever possible I stay at hostels, but these are a little scarce across the US, unlike in Europe.

I spent 5 weeks in Spain last year and spent a total of $1500, including transportation (from another European country, so no cross-Atlantic flight), lodging, food, souvenirs, camera batteries, etc. That was probably the best trip I've ever taken. Where did I stay and what did I eat? That's another story for another day.

I don't do extravagant things but I will try my very hardest to enjoy a night in relative extravagance. It helps that my dad will be footing the bill, since the trip is mainly for my mom.

Full speed ahead

From the moment I got up today to the moment I go to sleep I will not have had any idle minutes (seconds probably). I jumped up with the first sound of my alarm and it was go, go, go all day with school/work, house, dinner at someone's house, picking out a sink and sink accessories at the store, laundry, brushing teeth, and very soon it's back to bed.

I had about 10 uninterrupted minutes of silence and idleness today, but that was in the waiting room of a doctor's office, so it wasn't like I was enjoying myself or sitting in the yard gazing at the greenery. It was the anticipation of awkwardness and uncomfortableness, so I was glad I only sat there for ten minutes.

Maybe tomorrow will bring a little bit more rest.

What real people do

I have this picture in my mind of what real people do.

Real people get up at the same time every day and eat breakfast.
Real people dress appropriately for work.
Real people eat lunch.
Real people go home at around the same time every day.
Real people eat dinner.
Real people have some leisure time in the evening.
Real people go to bed at a decent hour.
Real people do the dishes regularly.
Real people buy new clothes when their old ones are worn-out.
Real people spend some time with friends and family regularly.
Real people have hobbies that they tend to on a regular basis.

I don't do most of those things on any sort of regular basis. I get up at a different time each day and I eat at random times throughout the day. I don't do things a little bit or moderately. I either do them right and right now, or I don't do them at all.

People pick up a hobby. I decided to learn how to play the piano, and memorized entire leaflets of piano notes within a few months.

People have a plant or two. I planted about 30-some different plants, herbs and vegetables when I decided I wanted a plant.

I'm either going 180 mph or not at all. My car's roof is taped up with shiny, silver plumbing tape and an extra-thick black trash bag. I wear the same five shirts over and over and over again, and I've had most of them for at least 3 years. I buy multiple pairs of my favorite pants so I can wear them more often (read: every day). I probably own about 150 shirts and 50 pairs of pants/skirts/shorts, and I'm pretty sure that most of them haven't been worn more than a couple of times, if that.

Someone recently told me that my picture of real people is unrealistic. Hardly anyone has a routine that they follow to the t, and most people have a certain degree of chaos in their lives. I just feel that my life is more chaos than routine.

I have a feeling that owning a house and having a real, physical place to call home may help with the chaos in my life. I hope it doesn't make me boring.

Things I will miss...

and things I will NOT miss about living in the apartment I lived in until last week and/or apartment life in general.

Things I will miss:

• my roommate (10 months and no arguments or fights!)
• the short walk to school
• the large semi-walk-in closet in my room
• my roommate's cats
• the large hallway closets
  

Things I will NOT miss:

• my roommate's cats' fur and litter box
  
• not being able to paint the walls or make any other "major" changes to the place
• the tiny bathroom
• the turquoise tiles in the bathroom
• the lack of counter space in the kitchen
• the lack of ample kitchen cabinetry
• the fruit flies that came with my indoor gardening
• the gas stove with a giant food-devouring hole around each burner
  
• the extra short toilet
• the smell of cigarette smoke downstairs and in the elevator
• the maintenance men walking in 2 seconds after knocking on the door without waiting to see if anybody was home
  
• the elevator door that regularly jammed into my (insert appendage or body part here)
• having to drag my bike up and down the stairs from the basement
• paying $1 for laundry and $0.75 for the dryer
• paying another $0.75 for the dryer because the first round didn't actually dry anything
• having permanent stains on my clothes because the washers were so old and inefficient
• having to wait 3 hours to do laundry because everyone else was also doing laundry
• finding my freshly washed and mostly dried clothes on the nasty couch next to the washers
  
• being scolded by the ladies in the landlord's office for changing my own light bulbs
• handing half my monthly pay over to the landlord
  
• dead bugs in the cheap-o light fixtures
• the lack of dishwasher
• the nails that stuck up from the hardwood floor and ruined almost every pair of socks I have, and one pair of long pants!
  
• waiting 5 minutes for the hot water to come on
• the lack of a fan in the bathroom and the subsequent mold/mildew
  
• the lack of control over the heating system (I wore shorts around the apartment ALL winter long, even when it was below zero outside)
• the fear of never seeing my security deposit (two months' rent) again (the lady in the office assured me yesterday that I'd be getting it all back, most likely... I'll believe it when I see it)
  
• getting mail addressed to every person who has lived in the apartment over the past 20 years or so
• having someone over only to hear them say "these two weird girls lived here last year, they had the same couch you guys have, and ya, they were strange".
  
• the constant feeling of impermanence and lack of a true home.

I can honestly say that I don't have any true regrets about quitting life in an apartment. When I have to mow the lawn after a 10-hour day at school/work, or the water heater mysteriously stops working, or the power goes out, I'll be sure to think of all the things I don't miss about living in apartment.

Tired

This week has been just one thing: tiring. I wake up tired, I go to bed tired, and in between I just work, work, work, and then work some more.

I have a big presentation at school tomorrow, and the preparations for it have been exhausting (mentally), and when I'm not preparing for the presentation I'm trying to get things in order at the house, and when I'm not doing either of those things I'm out trying to find some part to some thing in the house that needs fixing. I also have another project due Friday, and by the looks of it, it won't get done unless I pull an all-nighter tomorrow. Judging by my current state, that will not happen, which means I'll be working on that over the weekend. And on Monday I start work in my permanent "lab home" for the next 4 or so years.

I'm tired.

What to do when you see a U-H.aul truck

Drive the other way. FAST.

The biggest thing I had driven before Friday was a minivan. I drive a fairly small hatchback-type car, and I am neither the greatest nor the most precise driver on the road. In fact, I am a little surprised I have never gotten into a real accident, or gotten a speeding ticket. I will readily admit to frequently eating while driving or talking on the phone while driving. Sometimes both at the same time, while speeding.

On Friday I drove a 14 foot moving truck, and the first thing I did was drive up a one way street. the wrong way. I didn't turn around, it was only a block.

Then I drove 25mph on a 40mph road, but I was too scared to change lanes so I drove in the left-most lane with cars flying by me on my right side.

Pulling into the driveway I took out some shrubbery in my neighbor's front yard.

If I had gone another 5 inches up the driveway I would have taken down the electrical wiring that runs between he house and the garage, and since the garage has a very visible left-ward slant (also the side the wires are attached on), that may have resulted in the demise of the garage.

Then I realized the truck would have to be backed out of the driveway.

At last I handed the key to someone else and decided that I would be the worst truck driver. ever.

PS: the neighbors said that they were not overly attached to their shrubbery, and I'm pretty sure they are not plotting a revenge.

You want to clean what?

My mom has arrived, minus luggage at first, but that didn't keep her from making me drive to W.almart, L.owe's and AT.&T store the minute I got out of school today. She bought every conceivable cleaning agent and many cleaning utensils at W.almart, claiming that one really does need a glove that looks like a mixture between a shag rug and wet cookie monster to clean properly. By the time we walked out of Lowe's I was ready to just stop, drop and sleep. I am already exhausted and we haven't done anything to the house yet!!

To start my mom's 3.5-week stay in style we are going camping this weekend, well fake-camping at a camp with cabins, but no electricity! I really look forward to the green and quiet, and the smells of the country and the woods.

Happy Weekend!

Frustration

I know it's a bit early in the game for frustration to settle in, but I had a few pull-my-hair-out-moments today. None of them were major disasters (at least not yet), but each one is a potentially time-consuming, and in the worst case, expensive problem I will have to hire someone to fix.

I can't get the drain pipe out of the hot water tank. I can't turn the tank on until I get the drain pipe out, buy a replacement pipe (the current one is missing a valve) and install the new pipe. I really don't want to call a plumber just to unscrew a pipe that some Hercules screwed on. (good news, sort of, is that there may be more work for this plumber - read on)

I managed to turn on the water, with some help from the water company guy (very helpful!!), but for some reason, there is NO water in the shower. I started to take the shower apart, but stopped after a few minutes, because I was afraid water would come gushing out at me.

I bought and installed hoses for the washer, but I can't test the washer because the outlet doesn't work. There is no other outlet within easy reach. That means I have to install a whole new outlet, possibly from scratch from the breaker box, which is, luckily, only 10 feet away.

The dryer works, but there are coils or something else inside the back of the drum that get glowing red hot. I do not want glowing red hot coils near my clothes.

On the up-side, the hardwood guys started their work today. However, it seems that their day went sort of like mine. What they thought would be some simple weaving in of some new boards turned into the construction of two new pieces of support brackets for the floor. It took them 4 hours to construct these brackets, and the highlight of my day was that they are NOT going to charge me for that work :) I saw them put the first coat of polyurethane on and the floors look AMAZING! I'm so glad I decided to have them refinished instead of throwing some carpet down.

So today's tally is:
-one non-functioning water-heater
-one dangerous non-usable dryer
-one questionable washer
-one non-functioning shower

The things I was afraid to touch today:
-the furnace and the corresponding non-existent thermostat
-the sump pump that is submerged in its hole, and plugged into a non-functioning outlet.

And that reminds me that I left all the breakers ON at the house, and that most of the electrical wiring is iffy right now. Gotta go!!!

PS: I went and turned off the electricity. I also realized I hadn't locked the front door or the side door. A little while ago I realized I left the kitchen windows open.

PPS: I just bought a new washer and a new dryer (online, I did look at them at the store a few weeks back though). the old ones are listed for free on craigslist. I realized that I really didn't want to use a dirty, potentially dangerous dryer and an equally sketchy washer. Even if they had worked, I would have replaced them before the year was out. Now I'm happy. My budget, however, can't take ANY more major hits like this!!

PPPS: If I wasn't so tired I'd post some pictures of the hardwood floor, but I can barely move.

My not-so-secret Obsession

I don't watch much TV, mostly due to the fact that I don't have any cable, or any other kind of TV hook-up. Just DVDs, and those I watch mostly on my computer. This lack of TV has not kept me from becoming mildly (OK. totally) obsessed with a TV show.

I know TV and life are separate and that things on TV are not what happens in real life. The characters on this show are real though (sh*t up and don't tell me otherwise, pleeeeaaase), and I frequently talk about them as if they were real, mainly with fellow-obsessors.

I readily admit to this obsession, even though this show has quite a bit (OK. a LOT) of content that I find morally objectionable. And just so you know where exactly I draw my moral line, the show is Grey's Anatomy.

And now I have to go. The two-episode season finale is on tonight, and I have to find someone with a TV and cable so I can watch it.

The Mother of all To Do Lists

I like lists. I frequently make lists, and unless I lose them they usually come in handy. Most of my lists are small. groceries, clothes, household items, errands.

Now, however, I have to make a much bigger list.
Things I have to do/have done to make my new house livable.

-replace two windows in the kitchen
-refinish hardwood floor in living + dining room
-install lamps in every room
-install outlet covers on every outlet
-paint kitchen
-paint living room
-paint dining room
-paint bedroom x 3
-install kitchen cabinets and counter-top, and kitchen shelving
-install dishwasher
-install range hood (possibly with microwave)
-install light switches
-install thermostat(s)
-install heating vents
-buy and put in two doors
-till a portion of the garden to plant vegetables
-plant garden
-mow lawn and tame the crazy hedges
*-insulate attic, possibly the whole house
*-put up curtains/blinds
*-cosmetic touch-ups in the bathroom
*-replace washer & dryer
*-replace one outside door
*-paint front porch
*-find cheap furniture (craigslist, garage sales, unwanted furniture from the side of the road, etc.)
(items marked * are optional and/or non-urgent and may happen if there's room in the budget after all essentials have been completed)
I'm sure I'm forgetting something, and whatever it is, I hope it's not a big item.

Just looking at this list makes me want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep for a few weeks. I will hire someone else to do the bigger things (hardwood floors, kitchen, windows, insulation), but everything else will be done by me and my mother when she comes to visit. She's a good painter, and also much less messy than I am. She's also a very motivated person, and I know there won't be much idleness and relaxing until that list is worked off.

Now all I have to do is wait for closing day, and then the madness can commence.

Colliding Worlds

I live far away from my family (parents, siblings, extended family), and I visit them about once a year. It's almost as if I had two separate lives - my life here, and my life (for a few weeks each year) in yester-land, where my parents live. These worlds are about to collide. My mother is coming to here-and-now-land to help me move. 3.5 weeks with my mother in a world she barely knows.

I just made my mom sound like she lives in a mud hut somewhere (nothing wrong with that!!), which she doesn't. She lives in a modern, western country and leads a very nice life. She just isn't used to the hustle and bustle and overly consumerist culture of the US, and the one time she visited (for a weekend) she commented on how much open land there is here. She visited some of the more populated states in the union, and the open land she saw was just the land she could see from the highway. She also saw Boston and was highly unimpressed. I guess US cities are not very exciting when you live in a city that has remnants built 5-some-thousand years ago.

Nevertheless, I plan on showing my mom around this part of the country a little, and the following things are on my agenda of possible things to do (other than move to the new house, paint every room and furnish a house for about $23, of course)
-NYC (it's so different from where she lives, she just might find it impressive)
-Niagara Falls
-camping (a very un-yester-land-like thing to do)

And the countdown for my mother to arrive from yester-land has begun. T-15 days.

Consumerism Americana

On Sunday I went to seven stores (craft store, clothing stores, grocery store). I was looking for a handful of very particular things and found most of them at the first store, and then spent 3 hours looking for that one last elusive item. At the end I had wasted 3 hours, had not found what I was looking for and was most likely responsible for the death of a tree somewhere with all the gas I wasted.

Aggravated at not being able to find that one thing I was looking for (blue, 4-ply, worsted-weight cotton yarn, I really, really needed some. go ahead. call me crazy.), I realized before going to bed, that there is probably no other place in the world with more stores and more stuff more readily available at all hours of the day, no matter the day of the week. The grocery store (which carries many things that are not in fact edible) is open 24 hours, and whatever you can't get there, your favorite, large, evil megastore probably carries it (and how dare they close the changing rooms after 11pm!!).

If I was l iving in my hometown, yester-ville, my search for navy blue cotton yarn would have looked something like this:
Walk out the front door, take the bike if the weather is nice, otherwise walk into the town center. This involves walking across a bridge over river and walking up the cobble-stoned market square, which has probably been some sort of market square for many centuries (Roman artifacts that back to 3500BC, the town was first mentioned in records almost 800 years ago). Then I go into the old alley ways of the city, which house most of the stores and restaurants in this part of town. The craft store is next to a church, and a real bell rings when I walk in the door (the bell is rigged to the door with a pulley of some sort). The store is probably about 20x30 feet, and the walls are lined with wooden cubbyhole-shelves filled with balls of yarn. After asking for blue cotton yarn the lady either shakes her head and offers me some other shades of blue, or immediately pulls out a ball of navy blue cotton yarn. Then she writes a receipt by hand, asks me if I need a bag, and if yes, put the yarn in a paper bag. I leave with my yarn, pass by a church, walk down the market square, maybe have some ice cream, walk over the bridge, walk by another church, walk by the brewery and arrive back home after a 10 minute walk.

And, of course, the store is closed on Sundays, and after 5pm Monday through Friday, and after noon on Saturday, and during lunch. Wait. WHAT? That's it? I can only shop during business hours? Yes, and on weekends people go and see things like this:

Snow-covered flower pasture on a mountain just outside of yester-ville (April 2007)

Special friend

I don't make friends easily - I'm picky, and I'm not overly social. I have a few good friends, and everyone else is an acquaintance. Don't get me wrong, I like people (most of the time), and I do enjoy meeting people (most of the time), but it just takes a lot for me to call someone a good friend.

I have a special, sort of secret friend, I think. I used to work full-time as a translator and one client had a lot of collaborative projects I worked on, and it just happened that I was often paired up with this one lady. For these projects we would spend anywhere from 1 to 3 hours on the phone, and being from the same corner of the world, but both living far from that corner, we quickly found that we had a lot in common, even though she is more than twice my age. We've collaborated on about 20 projects and every time we get to talk to each other we catch each other up on our lives, and just enjoy chatting away in what we both consider out native language.

So there. I have a secret friend. We've discussed the possibility of a real-life visit, and considering that she lives in a fairly well-known town that I wouldn't mind visiting (we're talking driving distance!), that just may happen at some point. But for now she's my not-so-secret-anymore phone friend.

Life without a kitchen

In 4 short weeks I will be moving out of my apartment and into the house, no matter what kind of state the house is in. I hope I can have the downstairs hardwood floor refinished before then, and the kitchen painted. However, there definitely will not be a kitchen in the house yet. Cabinets take 4 weeks to order, and countertop takes 4, sometimes even 5 weeks. I am also very hesitant to order the cabinets and countertop before I've closed on the house, because you never know what might happen.

So, the bottom line is that I will be without a kitchen for about 2 weeks. I can't afford to eat out for every meal (my eating out budget is one dollar per day, which equals about 3-4 lower end eat-out occasions per month or 1 to 2 higher end occasions). I can't go to someone's house every day to eat, and I also can't use someone else's kitchen to cook.

I've tried to come up with a list of things one can eat without a stove, fridge and microwave. Basically, what can one eat without a kitchen? (luckily there is a sink in the bathroom)

• ketchup (does NOT need to be refrigerated)
• bread
• peanut butter (am I the only person who finds PB revolting?
• jam
• food that comes in a bag and is horribly unhealthy (chips, oreos, pretzels, etc.)
• fruit
• vegetables (if eaten fairly quickly after buying them)

Any other ideas out there? Maybe the water in the bathroom is hot enough to make instant noodles?

Just the sight of that list is making me hungry (as in - I don't want to eat those things for 2 weeks, so I'll probably end up being really hungry).

Some things are just more important

This past weekend I had about four minutes of me-time, when I was able to do whatever I wanted to do to my own pleasing. I got up at 5am on Saturday and at 6.30am on Sunday. On a school day you'd have a hard time finding me awake anytime before 7.30am.

By the time Sunday evening rolled around I was barely able to keep my eyes open anymore, but I did not regret a single thing I had done over the weekend. I saw friends I only get to see a few times a year, held babies, prepared food, comforted a sick friend, celebrated a child's birthday and spent time with people I care about very much. Reading, laying out in the sun and watching TV took a backseat, but they were not missed.

I tend to go through life wishing I had more time in a day, or wishing it wasn't that late yet, or wishing I could sleep just a little bit longer. My pining for more time is rarely ever a pining for more time to do things for other people, but usually it's me wanting more time to do what *I* want to do.

This weekend I wanted to sleep, watch a movie, eat some good food, have fun, spend time outside, and just relax. I did sleep (a little), I did watch a movie (sporadically, from the kitchen), I did eat (with friends, and cooked for them), I did have fun (playing a character in a very impromptu skit in front of about 100 people), I did spend time outside (walking across parking lots mostly, and soothing a baby in the quiet shade), and I did relax (sitting with a sick friend).

And my approximately four minutes of me-time were spent doing, well, never mind, I'm pretty sure I was asleep for most of those four minutes.

Brand-new, adorable and clueless

I'm one of those things. The 2-day old baby I held for an hour this morning is the other two things.

A friend of mine had a beautiful baby girl with a beautiful old-fashioned-newly-revived name. One of the perks of working in/right next to the hospital is being able to sneak out of the lab to go visit new babies, and I couldn't get enough of the perfect little 6 pound bundle of adorableness. Mom and baby were doing well so the visit was all smiles and oooh's and aaah's and awww's. Plus, brand-new baby and I share a birthday, which makes her extra special.

Clueless is me. Until graduate school I was an excellent student, getting mostly A's. In graduate school my grades are still good, but I just feel like I know next to nothing! In college I almost always understood the lecture material and any reading I did. Now, on a good day, I understand about a third of what people say around me. They speak in acronyms and super secret science lingo and when everyone nods in agreement or makes appropriate gestures and facial expressions, the last thing I want to do is ask what they're talking about. I usually have a pad of paper on my desk with lists of words and questions that I google and look up in books. Most of the time this results in more words being added to my list and more google searches, which means more words on the list, and... you get the idea. However, ever so slowly, my command of the super secret science lingo is improving. I understand more words, terms, techniques and theories now than I did two months ago, and I like it. I no longer feel like the village idiot, but more like a clueless passerby who accidentally wandered in.

And now I'm going to wander out. The wonderful world of kitchen remodeling is waiting for me at Lowe's...

The more you know...

I've had a cold for almost 3 weeks, accompanied by swollen lymph nodes, intermittent sinus pain and almost constant fatigue. Colds are supposed to last one week, or seven days. It has been well over two weeks, and I'm feeling almost worse than I did when this whole thing started. Some days my cold symptoms are very minor, but the swollen lymph nodes have been persistent.

Unfortunately I have a slight penchant for paranoia, especially when it comes to being sick. Headache? Brain tumor. Neck pain and a slight fever? Meningitis. Swollen lymph nodes? Lymphoma or a benign growth at best. Stomach pain? Appendicitis. You get the idea.

I'm pretty sure I am a little more overly concerned about my physical well-being than the average person. Maybe it's because I tend to be a little bit unlucky (broken bones, two orthopedic surgeries, post-surgical infection, but that's another post altogether), or maybe I just spend too much time thinking about myself. I think my discovery of Google about 10 years ago has only fueled this paranoia, as the Internet's answer to every search for a set of symptoms seems to be "you'll probably die young, writhing in pain".

My PhD program is located at a medical school, and some of the material and classes are medically oriented (some of my classes are in the medical school curriculum). Every time I hear or learn about a new disease I make sure I don't have it. So far I haven't self-diagnosed myself with anything awfully terrible, that is, until this lymph node thing. A visit to student health is probably in my near future, but I'm pretty sure they get their fair share of "I learned about this disease...".

So today is spent wishing I was more ignorant, because sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.

Thankful

Mondays are my least favorite day of the week. It's hard to get up, it's hard to find something to wear, it's hard to get to school on time (or at all, for that matter), and it's hard to be motivated to do much of anything.

Today was a particularly challenging Monday. Rain, a broken car, a bike that needs fixing, a cold that won't go away, and a generally malcontent attitude on my part. I moaned and whined and complained all day, and then I went home and had dinner and watched part of a movie.

And then I realized that really I am quite lucky. I am fortunate enough to get an education that comes with a (small) paycheck, I will soon move into my very first own home, I had a nutritious and delicious dinner, and I generally have everything I need in life, and many of the things I want.

So here's to being thankful.

I guess I have to make some jam now

I went to the store this past week to buy two canning jars, but apparently you can't just buy one or two. They come in boxes of a dozen. I am not the proud owner of 12 canning jars. For now 10 of the jars are on the shelf, while the other two are being used as sprout-growing vessels. This blog is about the 10 jars I have left. Perhaps I will make some jam.

This blog is also about my other pursuits to make life just a little more bearable and fun. I go to school during the day, but when I get home I like to garden (in a 4th floor apartment). Due to a lucky sequence of events I am about to become a first-time homeowner, so my 4th floor garden will move into my very small yard in a few weeks. This blog is also about the house, and the garden, and my attempts to take care of them. I don't own a screwdriver or a shovel (other than the snow kind), so please join me on my journey to becoming a gardening, homesteading single female graduate student. My house came without a kitchen, so the next few weeks should be interesting.

Welcome. Take a seat, but please, make sure you don't accidentally break any jars. They only come by the dozen!